


I Absolutely Love Her When She Smiles

by hellomynameisallison, PlaidHunters



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Concussion dream, Crack, Fighting, Holy shit so much crack, Lingerie, My Immortal References, OC, Other, Smile, clint barton is a weirdo, concussion, her smile is like the sun, send help, sex?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 23:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellomynameisallison/pseuds/hellomynameisallison, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlaidHunters/pseuds/PlaidHunters
Summary: Clint has a concussion. What a weird dream he has.Me and hellomynameisallison wanted to write an insanely awful fic and this is the outcome. This makes reference to the fact that at some point Clint has read My Immortal. (Send help) also I'm sorry.The parts in italics are written by me, and the parts not in italics are written by hellomynameisallison(Thank you for doing this with me, you are the best. thank you for helping me procrastinate and make a giant pile of trash <3)





	

_Clint sat up, head pulsing. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears as he tried to focus on the room around him. He felt something wet on his face, just above his upper lip and pressed a hand to it. He pulled it back to reveal a small patch of blood on his fingertip. "Aw, nose no."_

_Clint looked around the room that was still spinning and tried to make sense of his surroundings. the bodies of the gangsters lay sprawled on the shag carpet in awkward positions._

_"Wait, Did I do that?" he asked himself aloud, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck._

Jessa stood in the corner, hands on her hips, blowing her hair out of her face. She cleared her throat and waited for him to turn his gaze onto her before rolling her eyes "Yeah while I stood in this corner I watched your bad ass moves. Let me tell you, that last kick was something else, it's almost like you were an undefeated black belt. The best part was when you walked in wearing your lacy black underwear and bra," she said, her statement dripping with sarcasm. The girl motioned down to her outfit which was almost nothing.

_"Um," Clint looked the girl up and down, "Who are you?" He asked in a rough voice. He looked around the room once more glad that it had finally stopped swirling, "You're telling me you did all this?" He paused, "In your 'barely there' undies?" he gestured to her body.  He was shocked, even Natasha got embarrassed over her panties._

The girl crossed over to Clint and grabbed a duffel bag out of the closet behind him. Opening the bag, she started pulling on a sweater. "When you find some jackass has put your brother in a coma you can talk to me about decency. Thanks for ruining the job by the way." From between her chest and her bra she pulled out a wire with a microscopic microphone on it. "It's funny how proud and egotistical people get. Once you get them to admit to one crime, they won't shut up about it." She finished pulling on her black skinny jeans and stuck out her hand to help him up. "Jessa, and yeah, this was me."

_He took the hand and stood, "I'm Clint, or Hawkeye. Either one works I honestly don't care."  He needed a drink, this was going to be a long night of stitching up his cuts and tending to his bruises while eating pizza. He wouldn't mind the company of another person though, and she did save him, so that's a plus. "Want to come over and have a cup of coffee at my place, some post fight caffeine?"_

 

 

 

  
_He grabbed her boobie_ _s_ _and put his face in them. "best boobies." he said muffled by the boobies._   


"Uhhh Hawk guy was it?"

_"Speaking" he said pressing his face even deeper into boobies._

"Your face is in my boobies."

_"Oh, oops!" he said pulling his face away from her boobies. "I probably have a concussion. Don't let me fall asleep."_

"I wasn't a fan of your face being there... but my boobies were."

_"Well hello boobies." He said diving his face in once again. "I love your boobies. can I taste them?"_

"I don't know, why don't you ask my boobies?"

_":0" he said "Boobies, may I taste you?"_

"Why sure," her right boobie said. "We're a fan of you," the left replied.

_"wow, I feel like I'm in heaven." he purred, sticking his tongue out and touching i to the left boobie. "They are so soft. thank you boobie for blessing me with the soft and tender flesh that you are." he pressed a cheek to one and looked up at Jessa. "You're so perty"_

"HEY!" Jessa shouted... "ur perty 2 lets do the sex thingy. That's where you put your you know what in my you know where and we'll do it for the first time."

_"Wait, can i take of your bra and your shirt?" he said as he enthusiastically took of her bra and shit. "Let me kiss your mouth."_

"No you can't. Now put your mouth on my mouth." Jessa smiled.

_"Oh boy!" he kissed her passively._

He was pleasuring her in a way no one ever had, "you're pleasuring me in a way no one ever has," she said.

_He was very pleased with this statement, "I am very pleased." He touched her hoohah it was moist._

"YOU'RE TOUCHING MY HOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she quietly purred.

_"I know," He roared. "I'm going to touch it until you have an organism."_

"Oh Cint you know just how to get me all moist and shit"

_"Oh baby. Your words make my willy all stiff. I just cant control myself." He touched her in her boobie and her hoohah at the same time. "How does this feel sugarlumps?"_

"Oh yeah! I think I'm going to come... but wait... if I do that I'll get pregnant... and die."

_Just as she said that one of the men from the floor woke up and started masticating to the sight of them. "What the hell are you doing in my swamp?" he grunted loudly._

  
_"Oh no!" Clint said as he saw the man touching his anaconda_ .   


"There's only one way to fix all of this!" Jessa exclaimed.

"Have a threesome?" asked the man of the house.

"NO!" Jessa said making a face, "we're gonna have a foursome with that other guy."

_Clint looked over at the unconscious man on the floor and smiled widly, "He is a good man. Go grab the other nameless man."_

The raven haired girl flipped her raven hair. "I'm a lady, ladies don't grab stranger men"

"What do ladies do?" the man on the ground asked.

"Well we grab other ladies, that's for sure but since we don't have one, Clint will have to do. He's pretty." Jessa turned to Clint. "You're pretty."

_He looked at her with big round eyes that were as big as paper plates. Big blue paper plates. "Y-you think i'm pretty?" He yelled. He looked over to the unconscious man, "She thinks i'm pretty."_

_The unconscious man looked up at Clint "Bro, me too."_

_Clint's heart swelled, "Bro."_

Jessa smiled even more smiley than she was. "Do you wear wigs?"

The unconscious man sat up, "what?"

"Will you wear wigs?" Jessa asked.

"I mean I guess if I--"

"When will you wear wigs?" Jessa prompted.

_"I brought one you can wear," Clint said pulling a wig from his underpants. "It was supposed to be my disguise but," he blushed and nervously shifted his foot over the floor, "You can borrow it." He smiled with his hand extended to the unconscious man._

Jessa smiled even more smiley than she was even more smiley. "If he was conscious I think he'd probably say something like, no, little Clint can have it."

The unconscious man laughed, "I can say things."

Jessa's smile even smiled more, "so can I!"

_Clint's grin grew wide "you guys are so cute." He put on the wig. It was a long flowing wig that went to about his mid back, it was raven black and had blue streaks and red tips. it went well with his pale pallid face. "How do I look?" he asked sexily._

Jessa's smile turned murderous. "I didn't fucking mean you Clint I meant LITTLE Clint."

_"He isnt that little." He said pulling down his pants to set the wig onto his 14 foot ding dong._

Jessa's smile was that of the Cheshire cat. At this point it was extending off of her face which started to melt away. "You have to admit it's a little small considering my dick is in the room." Jessa pulled down her pants to reveal a dick the size of the Titanic.

_"(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) wow."  He stroked it like a cat and it purred like a motor boat. It is pretty big. "But, I want to do the 'you know what' with you and I don't want a ding dong in my snake hole."_

The girl was so happy and her smile was so big she peed herself because it sat on her bladder. At this point she wasn't a boy or a girl she was an it. An it with a Titanic dick. "I've got a snake hole too," it replied. "It's here," he/she/it pointed to their ear, "just place it in, it should fit just fine."

_"(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) this is a great idea." he placed his thingy in her you know what. "Oh yes." this is nice he thought. "This is nice" he said slyly._

The man on the floor that was not unconscious, we'll call him Alex, gave the two mediocre dunces a look. "I'VE GOT A FUCKING HEADACHE YOU MEDIOCRE DUNCES!"

Jessa started crying. Her smile widened to the size of the sun.

_"Your smile is so radiant" Clint stated blandly with excitement. "I cant wait to take off your socks and see what secrets lie within them." he bent down and took off his own socks to reveal lace up boots with black fishnets overtop._

Jessa's smile was radiant, so much so that it became the sun. Luckily her socks came flying off her feet and a black hole engulfed everything before it burned. The world turned dark and cold. A voice could be heard.

 

 

"Clint? Clint?" Jessa was bent over the man. She shook him. He was sweating. "Clint can you hear me? You're going to be okay just wake up please."

_Clint sat up with a jolt, nearly hitting his head on Jessa's. "What just happened?" He looked around the room frantically, the two unconscious men were still unconscious. He breathed a sigh of relief and turned his gaze back to the girl. "I feel like i'm going to throw up. I don't know what the hell just happened."_

"That's the concussion talking," Jessa said with a smile.


End file.
